we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
