Kiss
Puke
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
