So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
