He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
