sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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