i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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