Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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