I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
