the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize