omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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