I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
