Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
