Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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