you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So vagazzling was a success
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
