So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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