Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
