Me too!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i believe in u and ur pee
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
