Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
