im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
