You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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