K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
