He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
