Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize