Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
