My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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