first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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