Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
