this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
