My hand turned me down
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize