The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize