The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
