Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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