i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
honey bunches of taint.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
