i just sent this text using only my big toe
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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