would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
