Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
