dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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