Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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