like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
