Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
