Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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