There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
