She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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