maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
