Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
