I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
