Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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