Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize