Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Operation Purity has been aborted
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
