Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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