we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
