chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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