You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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