I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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