I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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