Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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