Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm always down for nudity.
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