I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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