Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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