your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
how drunk are you?
Several
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
