so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
