i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
