Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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