But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
