gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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