He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
