that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
