i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize